Holding Pattern

Published 4 years, 10 months ago

A lot of people have asked how they can help us, and the truth is that right now, I really don’t know.  Even more importantly, I don’t need to know.  Throwing me a thousand things to think about is not going to help.  We love and cherish and appreciate all the expressions of support and caring more than most of you can imagine.  We are helped by knowing that you want to help.  If we knew of a specific way you could help, I’d say so, and will.  We’re just dealing with a lot right now.

We have a meeting today with a hospital social worker who will give us information on things like the Ronald McDonald House and other nearby short-term housing solutions, and whatever other things they know we need to think about that haven’t occurred to us yet.  We’ll deal with those things as they come.  We have to deal with everything as it comes.

Some people have asked if there’s a way they can donate money.  Please, not yet.  I literally do not know how much all this will cost, not even within a rough order of magnitude.  Maybe it will be a few tens of thousands of dollars that we can easily pay on a plan—hospitals are quite used to that sort of thing.  Maybe it will be hundreds of thousands of dollars, or well over a million.  I have not the first idea, and as of this moment I really don’t care.  Believe me when I say that if we need financial assistance, I will ask for it.

I realize that I’m effectively asking everyone to stay in a holding pattern, and that’s kind of sucky when the instinct is to jump into the breach and help, but that’s what we need at this moment in time.  Be ready and willing to help when help is needed, and hold us in your thoughts.


  1. Waiting readily and willingly. When the time comes and you know how you can be helped, I’ll look forward to doing what I can. In the mean time, know that your family is in my family’s prayers.

  2. You’ve had some painful moments of waiting. It seems only fair that now we have to join in the waiting a bit.

  3. The Ronald McDonald house is a wonderful resource. My daughter spent a good amount of time in the NICU after she was born and that was a great option for families who were displaced. They do great work.

  4. I have some friends in Philly and can ask them if they know of anyone who might have a place to stay (retired couple from their church or something along those lines – how many of you will be staying?). God bless.

  5. Sending prayers and positive karma your way. Wishing strength for you and Kat.

  6. You have to be getting sick of hospital food. Would some gift cards from restaurants close to the hospital help? Many restaurants now have quick pick-up of orders that you call in or place online.

    Just let us know. We are praying for all of you.

    Denise and Ed

  7. Waiting, for us, is easy. Holding pattern it is — and holding you and yours in our thoughts and prayers. When you need us, we’ll be here, ready and waiting.

  8. Standing by, and praying. When you have a need we will be ready and willing.

  9. I am far from alone in saying that we would love to help financially when the time comes. I think finances should definitely be the LEAST of your worries, because we know how marvelous crowdsourcing/crowdfunding can be in this day and age. I am echoing @Denise Rynes’ to ask if takeout would be helpful, though! In the meantime – our prayers are with you and your family.

  10. 1- Pocket voice recorder can help with memory of physician/therapist discussions full of jargon and while you’re in a daze.
    2- None of us truly understand your particular world right now.
    3- Remember, the look in your eyes, and on your faces and the tone of your voice speaks more to your daughter than any of the words you say; and, if it can mean anything at this point,
    4- Even though astrocytomas are rare and difficult, healing and remission is not ruled out. I know because I’ve had one in my former practice still be going strong when he got too old to be seeing me any more.
    Don’t tackle the whole “list” – one issue at a time, one day at a time.

  11. Sharing your personal story may actually help others who find themselves on a similar difficult path. Thank you.

    Praying for your family and ready to participate in the community of support.

  12. I just recently watched a story on the use of the polio virus with certain types of brain cancer…and its showing signs of success.

    http://america.aljazeera.com/watch/shows/america-tonight/2013/8/an-unlikely-cancercure.html

    I just thought I’d pass this along. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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