Sometimes, reading CNN.com can induce outbursts of laughter, and that's without reading the long departed (and much mourned) "Fringe" section. Here are some of my favorites. Note that if a title is a hyperlink, it points to the story from which I grabbed the screenshot, just in case you want to verify that I'm not making this stuff up. (Unless of course they broke the URL, in which case you'll get a 404. But that's hardly my fault.)
I've noticed that these things come and go in waves. Maybe I've stumbled upon a way to tell when interns have just started hands-on work.
But If You Won't Tell Me The Problem, How Can I Fix It?
Spotted 11 July 2000
Whatever it is that dissolved the party, I guess it's really lost.
Just What I've Always Thought
Spotted 12 July 2000
It's rare that you find a news story with the guts to be so critical of a public figure in such personal terms, and especially in the context of such a tragic story.
Gee, No Kidding
Spotted 26 July 2000
I thought that was why all planes crashed.
Wow, Dèjá Vu
Spotted 27 July 2000
Does Tiger know he has a twin brother?
Triple-Time Work
Spotted 27 July 2000
Somehow, the image seemed appropriate for all three headlines. Maybe that's just me. (Even better, it was right next to the CNNsi box shown above!)
Ouch!
Spotted 9 August 2000
"...fist-class service...has been a big hit with passengers...." Do I even have to say anything? For that matter, what else could I say?
A Whole New Hairadigm
Spotted 27 December 2000
...and their power shall be secured through the sacrifice of their curly locks. <insert random Samson joke here>
Modern Convenience Assumes New Heights (of Passion)
Spotted 7 February 2001
Never let it be said that there are no cool gadgets for women to buy. (The headline was quickly changed to "Implant could help women with sexual dysfunction." Yawn.)
Just What I've Always Thought, Part 2
Spotted 8 February 2001
It's amazing how honest people are being nowadays. I have to admit that I too was surprised and saddened by the longevity of the show.
Has the Revolution Come Already?
Spotted 14 February 2001
Well, I guess all those lawyers can go home now. We won't be needing the police any more, since there's nothing to enforce. I suppose we can also stop spending money on new prisons. And does this mean we can tell Judge Judy and all the rest of her ilk to kindly shut up now?
Approximate Precision
Spotted 15 February 2001
Okay, what part of "like clockwork" did the editorial staff not understand?
Even More Industry Regulation
Spotted 21 March 2001
Oh man, does this mean that my local Ecstasy dealer is going to have to get a license just to sell the stuff? (Thanks to Malcolm for pointing this one out to me.)
Oh, That's Gotta Smart
Spotted 25 January 2002
I really feel bad for the guy who had to deliver a soliloquy under those circumstances. That's just plume painful.
Woohoo!
Spotted 6 February 2002
Okay, now they're doing it on purpose. I think.
Good Job, Boys!
Spotted 11 February 2003
And they've made darned sure the Golden Gate Bridge remained right where we thought it was.
Rules, Rules, Rules
Spotted 10 August 2003
Wow, those old Soviets were really—one might even say forcibly—cosmopolitan.
Oh, Dear Lord
Spotted 17 January 2004
Two questions. One, are these two stories related? Two, did we really need that image?
Dèjá Vu All Over Again
Spotted 4 April 2004
It's just like the Radical Right has been claiming all along: you can hardly tell the difference between those two.
Watch Out For That Treeline
Spotted 8 May 2004
You know, I would think that Airbus should know that airplanes and peaks don't mix particularly well.
They're Everywhere!
Spotted 20 May 2004
I think what we all want to know is how many McDonald's were found in Rome, and does McDonald's know they've been found?
Eject! Reject!
Spotted 5 June 2004
And this is the Navy cadet who shot him down.
Hey, You Can't Not Smoke Here!
Spotted 5 July 2004
I guess they're so in love with legislating up there, they have fun passing laws that control other laws.
Oh, That Makes Me Feel So Much Safer
Spotted 24 July 2004
Bike cops: our last, best line of defense.
It's Headed Right For Us!
Spotted 26 July 2004
It seems that even the magazines about this "sport" are incredibly vicious.
Keep Your Cursor Hand To Yourself
Spotted 11 August 2004
I agree. Dating Netscape at the office is bound to cause all sort of problems—and just think of the gossip!
How'd We Miss Them All This Time?
Spotted 31 August 2004
You mean all we had to do to find a new class of planets was bother to search our own planet? Then why the hell did we spend all that money on orbital telescopes?
Echoes Of An Era
Spotted 18 September 2004
How much waxy buildup do you suppose a Vietnam ear accumulates? Is it different than, say, a German ear or a Canadian ear?
Oh, I'll Bet You Are
Spotted 20 October 2004
Damn "family values" watchdogs, keeping all the steamy stuff for themselves and not wanting to share with the rest of us...