A Very Useful UNIX Command

pshift -- paradigm shift utility
pshift [-zzeitgeist] [-rragelev] [-v] [-c] [-wn] [+|-n]
The pshift operator performs a paradigm shift on its input stream within the context of the current or specified zeitgeist.
Specify the zeitgeist context. May be specified here or from the environment variable $ZEITGEIST. Supported values of zeitgeist are judeo_christian (default), postcommunist, new_age, and when_god_was_a_woman.
Specify rage level. Acceptable values of ragelev are ennui (default), deep_seated, and consuming.
Set to verbose mode. Normally pshift operates silently; in verbose mode it publishes a 500+ page bestseller entitled "Rethinking [input stream] in the [zeitgeist] Age", and then begins soliciting honoraria until the operator types ctrl-c. On some systems it runs for Congress.
Set to collective IO. Normally pshift takes its input from stdin and outputs to stdout; in collective mode it takes its input from the Collective Unconscious and writes to the Body Politic.
Specify first, second, third or fourth wave. Acceptable values for n are 0,1,2 or 3, with 2 (third wave) being the default. [On Sun systems, the logical waves are 0,3,2,1, which map to physical waves 0,1,2,3; see Sun Technical Manual for details.]
Specifies the number of times to prepend 'post' to the zeitgeist context, if positive, or 'pre' if negative. The default is 11.
source $DEITY | pshift -zpostcommunist -rdeep_seated -v +1
On most systems, the above command will output a hardcover volume called "Rethinking God in the Post-Postcommunist Era", in which the irrelevance of erstwhile religious concepts is seen to have triggered a global, deep-seated rage vis-á-vis traditional sociopolitical norms leading to a premature breakdown of emerging postsoviet infrastructure.
pshift -znew_age -rennui
The above command produces no output, but privately processes a vague discontent which it will share if its space is honored. May be redirected to /dev/null.
pshift -c -w3 -1
Taking its input from the collective unconscious, the above command rejects the failed socioeconomic policies of the last thirty years and replaces them with a futurist, fourth wave polemic of traditional values, the two-parent family, and the supremacy of the private sector that was the foundation of the American utopia of the 1950s. Use a prepend value of -2 to restore the American utopia of the early Industrial Age, a value of -3 to restore the European utopia of the Enlightenment, -4 for Catholic hegemony, etc. (Note: Requires grass root permission. In verbose mode, it may also require a $4 million advance.)
You must have root permission to use consuming rage.
Robert Drucker (robert@ocean.washington.edu)