Eric's Collection o' Quotes

Yes, it's been done to death. Do I care? No.

The following bits of wisdom, humor, and silliness are obviously not copyrighted by me, CWRU, or anyone except the original authors, where applicable. If you are the original author of one of these quotes and wish me to remove it, let me know. Quotes attributed to Anonymous or Unknown are assumed to have no original author.

I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate.
-- Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova ("Points of Departure", Babylon 5)
In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said: "Let there be light!" And there was still nothing, but you could see it.
-- Unknown
In the beginning, there was darkness...or was there light...no, there was darkness. Anyway, then Man came on the scene and verily did he create a great spacefaring empire and unto him...you know I'm almost positive there was darkness in the beginning.
-- The Book of Endurium, Chapter 1, Verse 1 (Starflight manual, Appendix C)
Chaos 98, Frog 99.
-- Jim Henson's idea of the perfect Muppet Show (as quoted by P.J. Plaugher)
Special bulletin : There is still no news from New Zealand. If they ever have any, we'll be sure to let you know.
-- Max Headroom
You think it's a conspiracy by the networks to put bad shows on TV. But the shows are bad because that's what people want. It's not like Windows users don't have any power. I think they're happy with Windows, and that's an incredibly depressing thought.
-- Steve Jobs
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
-- Bertrand Russell
From a distance, it is impossible to tell if an administrator associated with your project is sitting on his hands or covering his butt.
-- Unknown
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken
University politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?
-- Jules Feiffer
When in doubt, empty your magazine.
-- Murphy's Rules of Combat Operations, #23
Joel: "What do you want for Christmas, Crow?"
Crow: "I wanna decide who lives and who dies."
-- Joel Robinson & Crow T. Robot (Mystery Science Theater 3000)
An Incomplete List of Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations -- a separate file of at least fifty observations.