Monday, 19 February 2001

Published 23 years, 3 months past

I was recently asked what I thought, as a liberal-type not-quite-Democrat, of the investigations into the Marc Rich pardon.  I hadn’t actually thought about it much, but was surprised to discover I had an immediate response: “From what I’ve heard, the pardon stinks to high heaven.  But unless there’s some reasonable chance of prosecuting Clinton for it, I would ask the Honorable Congressmen to please stop masturbating in public.”  Besides, isn’t anyone bothered by Clinton’s pardon of his own brother for drug-related charges?  Is nepotism less reprehensible than bribery?  (Note: I have no idea if there was any bribery involved in the Rich case or not, but that’s what everyone seems to be screaming about.)

For the love of Mike, people, he couldn’t be convicted while he was in office and had much bigger things to distract him, like nuclear proliferation and terrorists.  What makes anyone think the teflon will suddenly peel away now that he’s a private citizen with plenty of time and money to devote to his own defense?  The only thing conservatives are managing to do it perpetuate media coverage of a man they’ve worked so hard to bury.  This is your big chance, dittoheads.  You wanted Clinton gone.  So why do you keep dragging him back into the spotlight?

Irony patrol: the guy heading up the pardon investigation is none other than Dan Burton (R-Ind.).  Yep, mister “Bill Clinton is a scumbag; did I mention I fathered a child out of wedlock during an adulterous affair?” is once again presuming to pass judgment on the morality and decency of our ex-President.  Pot, this is kettle; kettle, pot.

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