Caption Hunt
Published 20 years, 6 days pastOver the last two days, some… odd pictures of the President and his new appointees have made the rounds. Here they are:
I could use some cheering up, so if you’d like to help out, write funny captions for one or both pictures. Extra credit for captions that don’t make sex jokes. (Anything really foul will be deleted. You have been warned.)
For those who wish to contribute two captions, I think we’ll be daringly original and refer to the first picture (of Bush and Rice) as #1, and the second (of Bush and Spellings) as #2. Got it? Great. Knock yourselves out.
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[…] silly caption written on Nov 17, 2004 Filed under: politics weird and wacky Eric Meyer is looking for silly captions…I think #2 cries out for something invo […]
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caption hunt
Eric’s Archived Thoughts: Caption Hunt – Eric Meyer asked for captions, so I’d thought I’d take a crack. Firs picture: (Bush thinking) “Maybe she knows how to make peace with nations… cause I kinda screwed up last term”. The second: (S…
#1: Watch how Mr. Bush doesn’t move his lips … almost.
#2: “We must lower our expectations of the President.” Bush:”Pfft, can they GET lower?”
#1
Ahh, so that what detante means. I thought it meant strike first.
#2
Gotta magic trick for ya, watch the tissue… Bush,”Oh I like this trick…”
#1 After a night watching the Godfather, Bush tries out his new gold leaf garotte
#2 …and when I was an intern I placed my hands on his knees like this…
1. Psst, George, I just squeezed out a raunchy one.
2. The both of you, you’re fired!
#1 [Bush] …but, wait… wasn’t she bald?
#2 [Bush] There it comes, that funniest Teletubbies dance!
#2: “yeah, but I shoot with this hand.”
#1) “Swell! Now I can afford that orthodontist to get rid of this silly gap in my teeth!”
#2) “Is *this* how you do it, Mr. President? Is this how you walk like an Egyptian?”
#1[Bush] She’s taller than she was yesterday.
#2[Spellings] So you see there are two separate internets, right?
#1: She sings really nice, doesn’t she?
#2: This black-box is totally invisible!
#1 Taking to heart the adage that two heads are better than one, President Bush and now Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice have been surgically conjoined. Liberal America hopes that, combined, they’ll make half the man a Sharpton or a Kucinich makes.
#2 “President” Bush smiles on his first day as an Airforce One Flight Attendant Trainee, a proud day for him, as “Vice President” Cheney has never afforded him such responsibility.
Caption 1: Bush ~ “Gottle of Geer, Gottle of Geer”
Caption 2: Bush ~ “Oooooh she’s gonna do a trick. Uhuhuh I looooove tricks”
#1 Rice – “Beige… I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige…”
#2 Spellings – “Now remember, President Bush doesn’t think that fast so you will all need to alk a little slower… So, any questions?”
#1 Rice – “Oooh! I need some new furniture, that tacky carpet in the oval office has to go, and we’ll need to replace all those pictures of former Presidents with pictures of my favorite person.. Me!”
Bush – “She won’t do my typing, refuss to do the filing, not to mention the laundry… and we won’t go into what she said when I asked her to buy me lunch. Just what have I gotten myself into???”
#2 Spellings – “We’ll when we’re done leveling out Iraq we’re going to pave it all and turn it into the world’s largest strip mall complete with a Wal-Mart Supercenter, Sam’s Club and my personal favorite store, Dress Barn Woman! Oh! Don’t foget the tanning sallon, JC Penny, and of course for the kiddies Toys ‘R Us…”
Bush – “Oh I could have fun in Toys ‘R Us… they haven’t seen spending until they’ve seen me ransack a Toys ‘R Us”
#1 – “And the Bush said ‘Wanna be Sec. of State?” and I wa like “no Way!” and he was like “Yes way!”
#2 – “Let me demonstrate for the teacher how this move works… First, you grab the child by the shoulders the you shake him…”
1) Mr. President, Turn that frown upside down. Remember, you’re a person and people, um…. like you.
2) This is not the president you’re looking for, move along.
Eric, you’ve got the same title attribute for both pictures
#1 Rice: …and I asked him: “Who will advise you, if I grab the office?”
#2 Spellings: …and I soothed him: “Don’t worry, all your screwed up exams are forgotten”.
#1: Seems she does like when I put my finger here…
#2: Why the hell are the nails still wet?!
#1. *static. . . Bush’s earpiece goes off. . .* “Mr. President, back your hand off just a little bit. She’s starting to look unnatural.”
#2. “So there I was, hopping like a bunny with a kleenex in my right hand, and Ashcroft says. . . “
#2: wikki wikki scratch, wikki wikki scratch
For #2
Levels. We need levels. Let’s put levels in the open office.
Seinfeld anyone?
#1 – Hmmmm, I really like this new Black Eyed Peas song
#2 – i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
#1:
“Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it
Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have the town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
You’re gonna make it after all”
#2: Spellings entertains the President with her world famous “woman looking over a wall” mime routine.
#1: mmmmh …. I don’t know about the black hair though…
#2: Aaaaah…. blonde! Now we’re talking…
#2: you must be this tall to enter the Oval Office.
bush: “whew”
#2 “And we’ve found that, if you lower the standards, then no children will be left behind.”
Props to Will (#12) for the walk like an Egyptian reference, which was the first one I thought of, but Nick’s (#24) is my favorite.
For #2: During a press conforence, newly appointed Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings demonstrates her new reforms for the public high schools. “Little bunny foofoo hopping through the forest, picking up bullfrogs and bumping them on the head!”
#2 Bush appoints Tommy Cooper’s love child as Secretary of Education.
#1 “Ahhhh… been waitin’ to do that ever since lunch.”
#2 “Now for my next impression… this is what my dog looks like when I catch him drinking out of the toilet.”
#1 – Where can I get a wig like that ?
#2 – And that jacket ?
[ UK resident, who’s never seen the 2nd lady before ]
#1 Bush “That’s it Condaliar, you smile real nice when yar talken.”
#2 Spelling This is who smart a worm is and this how smart George is.
Bush “Must not fart, must not fart, geez I hope I’m not talken
outloud”
2) Secretary of Education nominee Margaret Spellings fails to use Force Powers to throw lightning at reporters, gets mocked by Bush. Spellings later commiserates with fellow trainee Rumsfeld.
#2:
Bush (thinking): “I’ve always wanted to learn the Macarena, but I got no rhythm.”
or.
#2:
Spellings: “Cause this is thriller, thriller night!”
1. “Look, Mr. President, how the bombs make the sky glow such a pretty orange!”
2. “So there were these 2 midgets—I mean little people”
#1 – Bush (thinking): ‘Mmmmm…is that the Ocean Breeze or the Apricot Herbal Essence?’
#2 – Spellings: “How tall are junior high students? About this tall.”
#1: “And I-I-I will allwayzz love yoooooooh … ”
#2: “You do the hokey-pokey and you shake it all about,”
“That’s what it’s all about!”
#1: Condi and Dubya find it hard to contain their disappointment and sadness at the news of Colin Powell’s resignation.
#1. “My fellow Americans … ”
#2. “Heh, heh, her watch has stopped.”
#2
She: Now you will hear only my voice, you will do all I command… I mean all he commands. Oh crap!
He: Right, crap!
#2: “OK Mr President, I’ve got the Clark Kent glasses… so why isn’t my Kryptonian mind control power working?”
#1 [Bush] I forgot to tell her that I don’t believe in racial equality.
#2 [Bush] I made her promise she won’t give me homework! Yippee!
#2 “Simmer down, now! Just simmer down!”
#2 Bush: “Is that a St. John’s wort or a regular wort?”
#1 With that smile I bet they don’t even notice when we she announces our planned attack on Iran.
#2 And how do you expect to reform the education system? “I know Kung-Fu!”
1. Achtung liberals, all your bases are belong to us!
2. …but Fox is fair and balanced, see, I can show you.
#1: shee-it, too much on the smile lever. must. be. subtle.
#2: ha ha, those video editing guys sure know how to get rid of wires…[mental note: replace puppeteer]
lol @ #24 && #28
1. Rice: “So in order to make sure we’re all on the same page THIS term, I’ll be replacing the president’s daily briefings with pictograms.”
2: Bush: “Yeah, I’m sure she’ll win you over, too, once you see her Mime the Gettysburg Address… Take it away Spelling!
#1 – Condi (singing): “…I felt so happy I almost cried and then he kissed me.”
Bush (thinking): “Let’s see, I know it was the Crystals, but I just cain’t seem to remember th’ year. Dear Jeezuz, what year was it?”
#2 – Spellings “…this little piggy went to Iraq, and this little piggy stayed home. Now, of course, the piggy that went to Iraq got flattened, just like bacon…”
Bush (thinking)”That’s cute, that whole ‘piggy’ and ‘bacon’ thing. I’ll have to use that in my first state of the union…”
#1: President Bush shows off his ventriloquism skills. Note the almost lifelike expression on the NSA dummy.
#2: Spellings reiterates the administration’s policy of “lowering the bar a little more every day.”
#1 – I wonder if she’d notice if I ate that bug in her hair?
#2 – And then the President told me that it’s from here down that he’s intrested in when looking for a woman in my position… Teee heee. So see, I don’t need to be smart.
Caption For #2
=================
(Heard In Linda Richman’s Voice): “…I’ll give you a topic…’Bad Intelligence’…it was neither ‘Bad’ nor ‘Intelligent’…discuss…”
#1 – “Laura! Oh God! I, er I mean, we thought you and the twins were still in Crawford!”
#2 – “You put you left hand in and take you right hand out and you do the hokie-pokie and you turn yourself around – that’s what it’as all about!”
1.
Rice: Ahoy, matey!
Bush: Yes.
2.
Spellings: Ehh, Macarena!
Bush: Yes.
#1 – “So that’s how that darn Electoral stuff works!”
#2 – Spellings demonstrates her mad Slap Hands technique.
#1 MMMM she’s got nicer hair than Colin (pronounced KOLIN not Cohlin)
#2 Wish I could use hand signs, it’d stop me making such a dick of myself everytime I opened my mouth.
#1: “Wow, that wax dummy really does look like Condi; Madame Tussaud really knows her stuff. Maybe I can bring it around to some photo ops with me instead of Rice…it’d be about as helpful, and that way I’d save on hotel costs…”
#1 Hmm. Better be careful Condi, I hear the W3C is out to get us now.
#2 That’s right, Mr. President. Tables or DIVs can be used inspite of what you heard last night.
#1 (Bush “thinking”, well… more like: to himself) I hope she won’t ask me about Pet Goat, I never really finished Pet Goat…
#2 (Bush) Whoa that’s the same trick my little doggie does, standing on his hind legs like that… Wow! I wonder if she learned it from him… Wait! Can dogs talk now? I wuv dogs!
#2 (Bush) …yeah, I’ll smile, it seems she was telling a joke or something, why can’t I pay attention? Yeah, I’ll do that smirk I do…
(Spellings) So the Iraki prisoners were forced to extend their hands and then they were clubbed and had all their fingers crushed…
Ahh, but the more interesting story is about all the smooching
Check the video link below the picture on the right side of the article. Bush must really fancy Spellings — they nearly go lip-to-lip.
#1:
Rice: Boy, it’s great being the smartest Republican.
Bush: Finally I got someone to do the thinking for me.
#1 – Uh-oh! She said something smart, wait… let me think about that…
#2 – We will level out Iraq and sell AVON to all the women there! Look what it did for my hands!
1) Bush: “Smile, that’s right, smile wide as an oil tanker”
2) Spelling: “paa.. dee…cake? is that it?”
Didja see the photo or Martin & Bush looking in opposite directions during a photo op? It was taken by a Canadian Press photographer.
There is a copy accomponying this Regina Leader-Post article with the following caption `U.S. President George W. Bush (foreground) and Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin look in opposite directions during a photo opportunity upon Bush’s arrival at Parliament Hill in Ottawa Tuesday.’ The photo looked even better in monochrome in my local paper — it was like Germany’s two-headed eagle.
P.S.: Your tutorial at HT’04 rocked!