Posts from Sunday, July 6th, 2003


Published 14 years, 8 months ago

Is anyone else getting spam from German e-mail addresses looking for a dimensional warp generator, preferably in the New York/Boston area?  Because so far I have three of them, and for once my spam actually amuses me more than it annoys me.  A few unedited excerpts:

I’m offering $5,000 US dollars just for referring a vender which is (Actually RELIABLE in providing the below equipment)… The mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with z80 or better memory adapter. If in stock the AMD Dimensional Warp Generator module containing the GRC79 induction motor, two I80200 warp stabilizers, 256GB of SRAM, and two Analog Devices isolinear modules, This unit also has a menu driven GUI accessible on the front panel XID display. All in 1 units would be great if reliable models are available… The special 23200 or Acme 5X24 series time transducing capacitor with built in temporal displacement. Needed with complete jumper/auxiliary system

Wow, five thousand whole dollars?  Somebody’s sure willing to spend a lot of money, eh?  There’s more to the message, but I’m laughing too hard to reproduce any more of it.  Here’s the whole message, with a strategic edit.

The best part is that all my copies of this spam show a date of 5/15/48, so I’m not even sure of its century of origin.  All I am sure of is that whoever’s sending it is seriously warped, possibly to the point they don’t actually need the equipment they seek.  Well, either that or somebody’s time machine broke down and they’re looking for parts.  I wonder how long they’ll have to wait before a reliable “vender” emerges?